Finding Joy Through Grief: A Journey Toward Healing and Peace
Where do we find joy when life feels overwhelming? It’s a question many of us wrestle with, especially during difficult times. For me, joy wasn’t always easy to recognize. It took years of navigating grief, loss, and healing to understand that joy is often a byproduct of peace—a peace that can only be found when we allow ourselves the time to grieve and have faith that joy will return.
The Power of Ritual
Every evening, I indulge in a simple ritual that brings me immense comfort. I apply Weleda Skin Food to my face, and in that brief moment, I find peace. As I unscrew the cap, the calming scent greets me. With each gentle stroke of the cream on my skin, I feel my pulse slow, and a sense of calm washes over me. It’s a small act, but it’s one I look forward to daily, a moment that reminds me of the joy that still exists in the quiet corners of life.
This small ritual isn’t just about skincare—it’s a symbol of the importance of creating space for peace and comfort, even in the smallest ways. It’s a reminder that joy doesn’t have to be grand or elusive; sometimes, it’s in the most ordinary moments.
Allowing Time to Grieve
My journey to joy was far from straightforward. There was a time when I couldn’t imagine feeling anything other than sadness. Life had thrown my family and me into the depths of grief. After a series of life-altering events, including a traumatic experience with intensive care, blood transfusions, operations, infections, and stage III colon cancer, I found myself in a place of profound loss. Cancer was the thief—it robbed me of my sense of security, my health, my career, and the life I once knew. The joy I had once felt holding space for mothers and babies was replaced by fear, anger, and uncertainty, leaving me to navigate a new and unfamiliar reality.
In those moments, it’s tempting to rush through the pain, to hope that ignoring it will make it go away. But I learned that grief demands to be felt. It needs time and space to be acknowledged. I had to sit with my sorrow, feel the weight of it, and give myself permission to grieve what was lost—the life I once knew, the sense of security, and the dreams that seemed shattered.
Faith in Joy’s Return
Amidst the darkness, there were glimmers of hope. While I couldn’t feel joy, I held on to the belief that one day, I would. I had faith that if I allowed myself the time to grieve fully, joy would find its way back. It’s not an easy faith to maintain when you’re in the thick of pain, but it’s essential. Holding onto the possibility of joy’s return is what kept me moving forward, even when each step felt unbearably heavy.
This faith isn’t about ignoring the present pain but about believing in the future. It’s trusting that joy isn’t gone forever—it’s simply waiting for us to heal enough to feel it again.
The Path to Peace
As time passed, the grief didn’t vanish, but it softened. I began seeking peace, not as a way to avoid grief but as a path through it. In actuality, I didn’t realize I was seeking peace until years later. It was more of a survival mechanism than anything else. Nonetheless, peace came in small ways—a walk in the sunshine, a quiet moment with a cup of tea, the steady rhythm of my evening skincare routine. Each peaceful moment was a step towards healing, a reminder that life, even after immense loss, can still hold beauty.
Seeking peace required me to let go of certain expectations and to redefine what life could look like moving forward. It meant figuring out how to let go of a career, or better - a calling, that was harmful to my health. It meant creating new routines, finding new joys, and allowing myself to grow beyond the pain. In seeking peace, I discovered that joy wasn’t a distant dream—it was something I could nurture and cultivate, even in the aftermath of loss.
A Return to Joy
Today, I find joy in the simple, everyday moments. It’s in the warmth of a sunlit walk, in the laughter shared over brunch with my daughter, and in the familiar comfort of my evening ritual. This joy isn’t fleeting or superficial—it’s rooted in the deep peace I’ve found through my journey of healing.
If you’re navigating your own grief, know that it’s okay to take your time. Allow yourself to feel the pain, to sit with it, and trust that joy will return. Seek peace in the small moments, and have faith that each step forward brings you closer to healing. Joy may seem distant now, but it’s waiting for you. It resides in the quiet, gentle spaces you create, and in time, it will reemerge as a vibrant part of your life. One day, you may feel the sun warming your face, and in that moment, you’ll remember that I too was surprised by joy after trauma. You’ll smile, and welcome the sensation, as if it had never truly left you.
Remember, joy is not the absence of pain but the presence of peace. It’s a gentle gift we cultivate through compassion, intentional living, and self-love. By allowing ourselves the grace to grieve, the faith to heal, and the acceptance of our journey, we open the door to rediscovering the beauty in our lives. Healing after trauma is a tender process, but in embracing it, we create space for joy to return and flourish within us once more.