When Change Feels Like the Only Way Forward: The Power of Small Shifts and Radical Transformation

There are moments in life when everything feels off. You wake up and realize you’ve been going through the motions, stuck in routines, jobs, or relationships that no longer serve you. The idea of transforming everything—overhauling your life entirely—starts to seem like the only way out. In these times, the thought of sweeping change can feel like the answer. After all, how else can you fix the mess of things that seem broken? But here’s the truth: While sometimes changing everything is necessary, more often than not, the real power lies in making a single, meaningful shift.

I’ve been there, standing at the crossroads of small, incremental changes and the desire to turn everything upside down. At different points in my life, both paths have felt equally appealing. And as I’ve navigated these crossroads, I’ve realized that both small shifts and radical transformations have their time and place. It’s not about one being better than the other—it’s about understanding which one will bring you closer to the life you want to live.

The Temptation to Change Everything

There’s something deeply seductive about the idea of changing everything. When life becomes overwhelming, it’s easy to think that completely overhauling your circumstances will somehow provide the fresh start you need. Whether it’s quitting a job, ending relationships, or moving to a new city, the idea of wiping the slate clean can feel like the ultimate solution.

I remember when I found myself at a point where I felt disconnected from everything around me. I practiced a calling that drained me, was stuck in patterns that didn’t align with my health needs, and lived a life that felt safe but constantly overwhelming. Small changes no longer felt like enough. I wanted was forced to reinvent everything—my career, my social circle, even my daily routines. The thought of burning it all down and starting fresh was terrifying, but eventually became so appealing that it almost felt like the only way to move forward.

It wasn’t just about changing the big things—it was a deep, internal urge to break free from the old version of myself. Radical change shifted from being a mere desire to escape to a necessity for growth. I was trapped in ego, yet had outgrown the life I was living. Changing everything felt like the only way to evolve.

“Between Heaven & Hell”

This is a SoulCollage® I created in 2016, at a pivotal time when determining the need for radical change.

The Power of Small Shifts

But here’s where it gets interesting: Prior to my body screaming for radical change, well before I completely threw everything out and started over, I first had to face the reality that sometimes, the most profound changes come from the smallest shifts. We all have moments where we want to change everything, but those are often the times when the power of small adjustments can make a lasting difference.

Small changes are deceptively powerful because they allow us to gain momentum without overwhelming ourselves. I’ve learned this through my own experiences—when I made one small decision, whether it was to wake up a little earlier to write (practice self-care) or to start setting boundaries in my relationships, it often had a ripple effect. Those little shifts built on each other, slowly transforming my mindset, habits, and even my interactions with others.

For example, when I was overwhelmed with my work but wasn’t ready to make a drastic change, I started by adjusting my daily routine. Instead of taking on 6 new birth clients, I took on 4 and would set aside time for creativity or journaling. That small, simple habit gave me a sense of control and clarity that gradually shifted my perspective on everything else. Eventually, it became clear that I needed a bigger change—but that initial shift gave me the courage to make it.

Small changes, when sustained over time, can have a powerful cumulative effect. They create momentum, build confidence, and sometimes, they lead to bigger transformations without the need for a dramatic overhaul. It’s often the small shifts in mindset, routine, or behavior that help us build a life we truly desire.

My last scheduled caesarean family

A beautiful reminder of the power of small changes. Over time, I had made the decision to take on fewer birth clients, allowing me to build deeper, more meaningful relationships with the families I served. These moments, these connections, were the heart of my work—where I could truly show up, heart and soul. The reward was a friendship, now spanning more than a decade.

When Radical Change Becomes Necessary

But here’s the flip side: There are times when small changes simply aren’t enough. When the life you’ve built feels completely misaligned, a radical transformation can feel like the only way to reclaim your authenticity.

There was a point in my journey when I realized that everything around me—my calling, my everyday activities, and even the city I lived in—no longer reflected who I was or who I wanted had to become. In those moments, small shifts felt futile. I had to make a clean break, a fresh start. So, I took the leap. I quit everything, moved away from a place that felt like scorch earthed, and started over.

I’ll be honest, it was terrifying. There were days I wondered if I had made the right choice. Leaving behind a life, a country, a career, and a social circle you’ve spent years building doesn’t come without fear. And my social circle was completely intertwined with my professional life, because that is just the nature of birth and parenting work. I felt like I had lost my entire identity. But over time, and with a bit of hindsight, I learned that sometimes we need to go all in—tear down what’s not working so we can rebuild from the ground up. It wasn’t just about running away from discomfort; it was about confronting the fact that the discomfort of staying was far greater than the uncertainty of embracing change. It was about choosing a healthier, more fulfilling path for the long term.

Radical change is painful, but it also serves as a powerful catalyst for self-discovery. It forces you to reassess your life from the ground up, shedding everything that no longer serves you and rebuilding with intention. For me, changing everything wasn’t about abandoning the lessons I had learned or discarding what I had built—it was about releasing what was holding me back so I could step into a version of myself that felt more authentic and aligned with my goals. Now, nearly a decade after that radical shift, I’ve finally reached a place where I’m using the tools and knowledge I’ve spent a lifetime acquiring. I’ve created a framework that allows me to prioritize my health and well-being while staying true to my authentic self and my calling.

Finding Balance: When to Choose Small Shifts and When to Change Everything

As I reflect on my journey, I realize that both small changes and radical transformations have played essential roles in my growth. There are times when a small shift is exactly what you need to move from stagnation to progress. And then, there are times when a more radical change is necessary to create the life you’ve always wanted.

The key is to trust yourself and recognize when it’s time for each approach. If you feel like you’re at a crossroads and a small change might be all you need, start there. But if you feel like everything is out of alignment and you’re being called to take a bigger leap, don’t be afraid to embrace the chaos and let go of what no longer serves you.

I’ve come to realize that there’s no one-size-fits-all solution. The answer isn’t always to change everything, nor is it always to make incremental shifts. It’s about listening to yourself, being honest about where you’re at, and making the changes that will propel you toward the person you’re meant to be.

Embracing Both Paths for Transformation

Ultimately, the journey of self-development is rarely linear. Some days, small shifts will be enough to create momentum. On other days, you may feel the pull to change everything and embrace a radical transformation. Both approaches have their value, and both will take you closer to the life that’s waiting for you.

In my own experience, I’ve found that real growth often comes from finding the balance between these two approaches. Sometimes, small shifts provide the clarity and confidence needed for bigger changes down the road. And sometimes, it’s only through shaking everything up that we realize our true potential.

Whether you’re drawn to make a small adjustment or take a bold leap, trust that the path you choose is valid. Both subtle shifts and radical transformations can lead to profound growth—it’s all about the journey and how you navigate it. And let’s be honest: none of this would be possible without the community that supports and lifts us up along the way. This is where true transformation happens, and it’s exactly what we’ll explore next—how the power of connection can fuel our most meaningful changes.