The Dance of Avoidance: A Lightworker’s Lesson

What does she see in me? What does she bring to my awareness that I am unready or unwilling to confront? Perhaps it’s the energy she radiates, which mirrors a part of myself I’ve long suppressed. Perhaps it’s her confidence in her gifts, a confidence I’ve struggled to find in my own. Or perhaps it’s simply the fact that she sees me at all—truly sees me—in a way that feels both exhilarating and terrifying.

As a child, I learned to suppress my abilities to survive. Growing up in a deeply religious family, my sensitivity to energy and emotion was seen as dangerous, even evil. I became the black sheep, the outsider, the one who didn’t fit. The trauma of those years taught me to hide, to blend in, to avoid drawing attention to my otherworldly gifts. And while I’ve spent much of my adult life reclaiming those parts of myself, the scars of that suppression remain.

This woman, this lightworker, challenges all of that. Her presence feels like an invitation—and an insistence—to step fully into who I am. But stepping into that space requires courage. It requires confronting the fears and insecurities I’ve carried for so long. And so, I avoid.